The range of emotions that someone experiences when they’re grieving is as long a list as the range of emotions we have in any relationship.
I am often struck by the intensity of the emotions. Grief is like someone turned up the volume dial all of a sudden.
When you’re knocked over by that wave of grief, you want to know, “When will this end?”
When we have the experience of being in a relationship, the sense of who we are is bound up with what we lost. And so, following our loss, we suddenly must learn a totally new set of rules to operate in the world.
The “we” is as important as the “you” and “me,” and the brain, interestingly, really does encode it that way.
So, when people say “I feel like I’ve lost part of myself,” that is for a good reason.
When we feel, hear, and understand all the “grief messages”, that opens up your mind, offers comfort, gives you a perspective to hold onto and only then can you move forward.