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Acknowledging Pain


"True comfort in grief is in acknowledging the pain, not in trying to make it go away. Companionship, not correction, is the way forward."

Megan Devine

It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand

You Can’t solve grief: but you don’t have to suffer.

They way to live inside of grief is not to remove the pain but doing what we can to reduce the suffering.

Pain is a healthy, normal response when someone you love is torn from your life. It hurts, but that doesn’t make pain wrong.

Suffering comes when we feel dismissed or unsupported in our pain.

Suffering comes with being told to not feel what you feel.

Suffering comes with the best intentions of friends, family and random strangers give advice on how we need to grieve better.

Suffering also comes when we don’t eat, sleep or drink.

Suffering brings with it anxiety, and fear and isolation.

Pain gets supported and suffering gets adjusted. You need to identify what is pain and therefore needs support and what is suffering and can therefore be changed.

Ask yourself questions, search deep within yourself, experiment what works and what does not work for you. Start paying attention to subtle shifts in how you feel.

Allow yourself to find some peace. Suffering can be reduced. This will allow you to tend to your pain and come to yourself with kindness.

Allow yourself to hold your gaze on what is broken, without falling into the abyss of suffering that always makes things worse.

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